Eggs and Bacon - Mykonos in 10 Easy Lessons

For the love of Mykonos! I've made this island my haunt for a touch too long but as the days have gotten longer and my bathing suit shorter I've learned some important lessons about life in Greece and in particular Mykonos:

1) When the sun is shining Mykonos smells like maple bacon; on the rare gray days it smells like eggs. I don't know what gives this island it's eggs and bacon polarity but I do enjoy it;

2) Greek mosquitoes love my sweet sweet Canadian blood. While I am mildly concerned that my blood-alcohol content level will lead to a mosquito population explosion I hope that instead it will lead to drunk flying accidents and knock the buggers off;

3) Oregano is the best restaurant in Mykonos (Greek or otherwise). Situated at the top of the hill overlooking the main town this restaurant has all the tell-tale signs of greatness: delivery scooters buzz in and out in a constant stream, the patronage is predominately Greek and the food is spectacularly good and so reasonably priced they're practically providing a public service. I thought I knew what Greek food was but until my first trip to Oregano (and the subsequent 7 follow-ups) I had no idea what I was missing;

4) If you want an underwhelming food experience that's overpriced and will almost certainly deliver a case of diarrhoea then eat anywhere in the main town and particularly anywhere along the waterfront. If by chance you are specifically looking the the latter of my three described sensations may I recommend either Music Cafe or Niko's;

5) At all costs avoid the town when a cruise ship is in port. On a regular day the streets are a tnagled cobweb but trying to navigate them behind an ambling pack of septaginarian pacaderms is the only thing I've found that can induce stress on the entire island;

6) Without question rent a scooter or quad. Both are the desired modes of transportation for visitors and the best way to explore the island's towns, beaches and hidden secrets;

7) When it comes to beaches Super Paradise > Paradise. While this seems self-evident just based on the names we had to check to be sure.

8) The nightlife is unquestionably sensational and I certainly recommend Scandinavian Bar or Jackie O's. But my strongest advice is buy a 10 Euro bottle of vodka and then bring only what you can afford to spend and nothing more. The drinks are the most expensive I've encountered in all of Europe (I'm reassured by my Greek friends it is specific to this island);

9) Above all plan your exit strategy. Travelling to Mykonos is not like some war with Iraq that you can just enter into willy-nilly and be done with in a few days. If so I would have unfurled my Mission Accomplished banner about 7 days ago. The island is absolutely idyllic and has everything you could want in a holiday but the routine becomes so common that days and nights blend together and before long you've forgotten what day it is or when you arrived. Two days ago when I had to ask the date I was struck with a moment of panic and I knew it was time to go. Mykonos is an island to lose oneself in a holiday so come and enjoy but do not expect to find yourself;

10) Delos is a must-see for Greek ruins. This small island off the Mykonian coast is an ancient religious and trading hub and quite spectacular. When you go be sure to hike up to the lookout and do me a favour and let me know if a monument erected by three Canadian boys still stands.

I am "bringing a responsible end" to my Mykonos vacation with a gradual withdrawl via ferry to Santorini tomorrow. After a few days there it's on to Rhodes to make the leap over to Turkey to explore their side of the Aegean. If anyone has any recommendations please let me know!